Kinda Numbing

Not sure what is going on today... maybe its the weather, maybe it's Matt's leaving, maybe its the baking, who know, but I am feeling a bit numb.
I keep saying that I am ready for this week and I know that I can never be fully ready for it. Even though I know that as the time goes by that I am only that much closer to getting to move back to Oregon and then that much closer to R&R and then finally next year the end of the deployment. I am not afraid for Matt's safety, I know that God will be with him as well as Tyler. I am just not looking for the time apart, we haven't even had a year together yet. I know that is comes with the job, deployments, schools, training, etc. And really small times apart I believe are healthy, we appreciate one another so much more. I am hoping that God's plan for us is also what we are planning. We are really hoping to be back on the west coast, I don't care if that is Recruiting or going back to Lewis. I just hate life feeling so up in the year. I really want to feel like the kids have stability. I guess that is my biggest issue. I want them to be in a school for more than a year. I also know how hard it is for me to have people in my life come and go so often and even though kids do it so much easier than us adults, its still not easy.
This blog is totally unorganized and sounds like I am complaining, I'm not, just trying to say all of it and not knowing how.


You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.

Strength

We are now into March, the month I have not been looking forward to, but I can't make it through the next year. I know it, aside from the fact I don't really have a choice. I have watched so many woman who I look up to survive this, and they give me more hope than they know. We have pretty much everything in order, just wish we had a for sure date.
We took the kids to the Denver Aquarium over the weekend. It's a really neat aquarium, different from a lot of the others I have seen. (pics below) It was some really great quality family time. Matt is taking each of the girls out on a lunch date this weekend. They are all looking forward to that.
The kids and I will be making our way back to Oregon the beginning of May, and we are all looking forward to that very much. It will be nice to be around family and close to all our friends through this. And our hopeful plan after Daddy returns is to either hopefully get recruiting there or go back to Ft. Lewis.
Well that is pretty much it for right now... I am sure I will have plenty more to say here in a couple weeks.

Soldier of the Month Board

Finally after having it been thrown on him and then put off and my hand cramps from making him note cards, Matt is finally going to the Soldier of the Month board this morning. As Benjamin put it "You can do it Soldier"
I am so proud of the transitions that he has had to make and the challenges that he has faced. I know there more that lay in his future, but I believe he is an exceptional leader and can accomplish anything he really sets his mind to and stays focused on.
I will be missing you terribly here soon, but I pray the days fly by and that God keeps you safe in his arms.

Playing catch up

I have been awful at keeping up with my blogs on here and I am really not sure why, because not really have a place to blog is my biggest complaint with having only a facebook.

Anywho, for anyone who doesn't already know we are safe in Colorado and have been here since the end of July. Most of you already know everything that we have been through since we arrived here so I am not really going to give history on that.

Right now we are preparing for Matt's deployment to Iraq and the move for the kids and I back to Oregon. As we are not looking forward to the deployment we are looking forward to being close to family again. Matt will be leaving sometime between the middle and end of March. We are planning and looking forward to when he will be able to join us in Oregon on his R&R. The kids and I are going to start our venture back to Oregon on the 4th of May. I am very thankful that my step dad is going to be helping us with that.

This school year has been a pretty good one so far. I am very proud of Liz that she has really been trying and applying herself. And her school here is way better than the one she was going to in WA, the one there really left a lot to be desired. Emma has struggled more this year than she has in the past but given everything that we all have dealt with and will be dealing with this year she has done very well. I am however looking at maybe some summer school, just to ensure that she is on the same level in Oregon. That is the downfall of switching school, them all not being on the same page with their studies. Benjamin will be starting Preschool in the fall! I am so excited! He is really going to love it! The little stinker is just too smart for his own good sometimes.

I want everyone to know this is the site that I will be using to keep everyone up to date on us and Matt while he is gone. So please bookmark it or put it in your favorites.

The journey

Wow life has been a roller coaster this year and I cannot believe that it is half way over. It all just seems to go by faster and faster. And then we sit here and ask ourselves where did all the years go. I am done asking myself that question. I feel we should not sit and ponder where the time has gone but enjoy the present moment and be excited for what the future is bringing. I am horrible for sitting around and wait for everything to happen and for it to all fall into place. I have set myself personal goals, goals in which I will strive to achieve. Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us. There is no time to waste being angry at someone. And why do we insist on someone earning forgiveness. When you forgive someone you are doing it for yourself not for them. IF you are not able to let it go all it is going to do is eat at you, but not forgiving you are allowing them to control your life. Let them earn your trust that is what needs to be earned. And leave what is in the past there, it is not called the past for no reason. Look at life through the windshield and not through the rearview mirror.
I know that we are all going through something and we are all on some sort of journey, weither it be something large or small you have to believe in yourself and truly know who you are or whom you are striving to be. But you need to do what is going to make you happy. It is your life and you are the one who is living it, there is no time to waste on pleasing others. And I am not saying you should not be kind to others, but you should never have to compromise who you are or your beliefs for anyone.
I have set out on my journey and if you too have found yourself unsure of where you are going maybe it is time to step back and decide what it is the YOU want.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money. Love like you have never been hurt and dance like no one is watching!

Randomness

I really need to do a real update, but I really haven't felt like writing all that much. There is so much going on, but nothing super crazy.

The kids are growing like weeds. I cannot believe Emma is 8 now. Its seems like yesterday she was Benjamin's age. She is doing well in school, as 

well as one can do with such an unorganized teacher. I know that has got to be a bad envir

onment to learn in, thank God the school year is al

most over. Benjamin is learning so quickly, I am looking into pre-schools for this coming year for him. He is also picking up the not so good stuff from the girls. That is always fun to fix. Liz is doing better and is such a big help with Matt being gone. Although we have our moments.

I am very much looking forward to the adventures ahea

d, I don't know why the unknown is so appealing even though at times it is terrifying. But I am hoping that this is all for the better and that things will be better for all of us all around. I cannot wait to have an actual house with our own yard. Its getting a little old having the entire 

neighborhood in your back yard and kids starring in the windows. We have started our house hunt and we are leaning towards Fountain, we are looking for a place within the school district that we have fallen in love with. It would be such a relief for the girls to finally be in schools that are all about the students. I know I don't remember my family having too many complaints about my schools.

Well thats not everything but a good amount for now.

Below pictures are from the Armed Forces Day Celebration

Some Pics

Matt at the Veteren's Day Parade in Oregon
Matt, Benjamin and I (emma was asleep)
Cheese
My 3 monkey's